Dear Baby

I am very proud of the accomplishments you have made in eating rice cereal. I'm glad that you recognize that when food goes in your mouth you have to make the motion of chewing.

I also understand that teething is very painful for you. I remember what it was like when I got my molars and I know it is not fun.

But please, mommy's breasts are not to be chewed on! You don't have to chew to get food out. If you want a teething ring I'll give you one. I know you don't have any teeth yet, but goodness gracious those hard little gums of yours still hurt like the dickens!

So please. Do. Not. Bite.

Sincerely,
Your Booby-Bruised Mommy