Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Kids squared

When Philip and I first got married we wanted a football team of kids.  At least ten, but more if that's what we got.   Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....ahem...excuse me.  I start laughing maniacally every time I think about our youthful optimism and...well, plain crack smokin' craziness in thinking that we could handle 10 children.  After Rafael came along I was so exhausted I decided never to have any more children EVER.  Then I cracked and realized I wanted more and so we agreed on 4.  4 children and that is it, because, well, Philip is a teacher and it's not like we're rolling in money.  Also, because at some point I would like to have my body back to myself and have a career.

Anyways, when I start doubting whether or not I can handle 4 children, all I have to do is watch my sister's kids.  Yesterday, faced with being cooped up with 4 kids, a super messy house, and a lack of desire to clean said house while they were running underfoot making more messes, I decided to take advantage of the beautiful day and we headed to the zoo.  (Thank goodness for zoo memberships is all I can say - $3 for 1 adult and 4 kids?  Yes please!).

Everything was going fantastic as the 3 older ones happily swarmed around me and Rafael sat contentedly in his stroller staring at all the animals.  We even managed to get through the huge play area of death and stuck children without any incident.  And then around the chimpanzees, an area ridiculously remote from any bathrooms, my 5 year old niece contorted into the pee dance and yelled "I have to go pee RIGHT NOW!"


So off we were, running through the zoo as fast as we could in some ridiculous parody of that scene in Home Alone 2 where they are all running through the airport as fast as they can.  I kept looking wildly around searching for children who were lagging behind or getting distracted by one of the animals.  Michaela looked like she was about to pass out, so I ran to swoop her up in my arms so that we wouldn't have an accident, and OHMYGOD why in the world would I ever attempt to do such a horrible thing as pick up an independent two year old!  She screamed bloody murder so I after dragging her for a few yards, I put her back down and let her "Walk by meself!"  Thankfully we were finally within eyesight of the bathroom by that point so I told my niece to run ahead and go in without us.  I gathered the other kids up and we walked at a normal pace to the bathroom and miracle upon miracles, all 3 older kids went potty in the bathroom!  Yay!  Piece of cake.

Seriously though.  What sort of crack was I smoking to think I could handle that with 10 kids?


Kristin J said...

That is so funny! But if you had 10 kids the older ones would help with the younger ones so it wouldn't be quite so bad. . . . however I think that driving the 15passenger van around town would be a pain.

Tina said...

I can remember one of the first times I met you, we were talking about how many kids we would each have and you confidently said 10. I laughed at you manically (much like I can picture you laughing now) and then I realized how awful I must seem. I was sure I had totally ruined our friendship forever! Luckily, you didn’t dismiss me as an evil jerk :-) You are a great Mom, you could totally handle 10, but I’m glad you’re not going to TRY to drive yourself insane. 4 is good :-)

Legally Latina said...

I think 4 is a good number for you and Phil. You are young enough and you are both patient enough. Also, I've seen families with big families in amusement parks utilizing what I call "the kid leash" --I don't know what they are actually called. Josh thinks hey are inhumane, but I think they are genius. They also have "kid leash" backpacks, so the little ones can carry stuff and feel independent.