My Little Handywoman

My sister is so sweet. Knowing how desperately I wanted a kitchen for Michaela's birthday, she bought an adorable little kitchen-in-a-box for Michaela. Unfortunately, I hadn't yet told her about the one I found and bought! I decided to exchange the kitchen she got for the exact same thing, just for the workshop-in-a-box version. Michaela loves it! For the last few days she's been hammering and screwing away. I love how portable this toy is, and that it's completely self-contained so that I can have her put it all away in the box and put it away when she's done. :)

Hidey Hole

Every once in a while I'll find Michaela hiding and playing quietly in some corner or alcove somewhere. Here's her most recent hidey hole. This girl brings so much color to my day!

Spring Break

The great thing about Philip being a teacher is that we get him all to ourselves during the school breaks. We had such a great time with him this week. Monday and Tuesday we took advantage of his being home to get some serious spring cleaning done.

Wednesday we went to the zoo and met up with our good friends the Johnstons.

Thursday we did some more cleaning and hanging out, then that evening we went out to dinner on the fly. We went to a local vietnamese restaurant (which Michaela loved!) and then on the way home decided to stop by the library for awhile. We had a great time reading and checking out a few fun books.

Friday we went to see Walking with Dinosaurs - which was one of Michaela's birthday presents. It was such a great show, and both kids did amazing. Rafael slept through most of it and Michaela was completely amazed with the huge dinosaurs.

Saturday, in true New Mexico spring break fashion, we got a huge dumping of snow. We took the kids outside and had a blast playing with it before it started melting. (Snow doesn't stick around long here. Usually if it snows overnight, it melts by that afternoon.)

We are going to miss having Philip around!

Michaela's Birthday

Things have been so crazy, I haven't had a chance to write about Michaela's birthday almost twoo weeks ago! Michaela woke up to find her birthday present waiting for her in the living room: a play kitchen! ($15 at a consignment store!)

Then she got to eat "cake" for breakfast! (No, she is not about to blow out those lit candles, she is about to stuff them in her mouth! I had to grab them out of her hand before she burned her mouth. Yikes, I guess we should have practiced.)

We went to the zoo after breakfast. It was such beautiful weather and she had such a great time. I think this will be a new birthday tradition for us!

That weekend we had her birthday party. It was butterfly themed, so in addition to fruit, veggies, and chips we had butterfly shaped chex mix snacks, and butterfly cupcakes.

The party was at the park. It was a teeny bit windy, but overall, we had a lot of fun. We had invited family, family friends and lots of mine and Michaela's good friends from the MOMS Club so there was a great turnout!

Michaela decided she'd rather play on the playground than open her gifts so she quietly sneaked away while I opened them for her.




She had fun though, and loved all her new toys once we got home!

Why It's Worth It...

So yesterday was crap. I had to vent, and I'm really glad I did. It kept getting worse after I wrote my post yesterday and culminated in Michaela throwing a tantrum at the door of the fridge yelling "snack" over and over again while I was trying to nurse Rafael. I finally finished, put him down (he promptly started screaming) and went to get her a snack from the fridge, when a box full of things that I had been trying to keep out of her by putting on top of the fridge fell down on my head. I couldn't help it, I just sat down and started crying.

Something amazing happened. My little girl stopped throwing her tantrum and came over to me, giving me a huge hug and saying "mommy crying?" Then she (no joke!) rocked me back and forth and patted my back. When I finished I told her I was sorry for crying in front of her and she wiped my nose.

I wish I could say she was perfect for the rest of the night, but she's a two year old, of course she wasn't. I did realize in that moment what I was so upset about. I've been missing my mom so much lately. I just want to call her and tell her what a crappy time I'm having and I know she would say exactly what I need to hear to make me feel better. She used to give these awkwardly long hugs where you would be thinking "ok mom, let go!" but right now I want one of those hugs more than anything. Last night my daughter channeled her. She gave me the love and comfort I've been missing.

I learned last night that it's ok to cry. And that sometimes the mother/daughter roles are reversed and that's good for both of you. Michaela showed me how big her heart is and I couldn't be prouder.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I try really really hard to be positive and not be Debbie Downer, but sometimes things suck and you just gotta vent! Everything is going wrong today.

I was making a pot roast in the crockpot for dinner which had to be cooked on low for 8 hours, but I forgot until 12:30, so I decided to put it on high for 4 hours (makes sense right?) Wrong. It cooked in less than 2 hours, which I didn't realize so by the time I checked on it, it was allready the consistency of leather. Yum.

I am trying to cry it out with Rafael. I haven't done nightime yet, but I've been doing naps. So far we've had tons of crying, barely any sleep, and a nervous frazzled mom who is going through a million breastpads a day because of the havoc the crying is wreaking on my let down reflex. Top it off with the fact that I am doing the worst possible thing by picking him up after 30 minutes because I just can't handle it anymore!

Michaela has a really nasty diaper rash. It's so nasty that I'm wondering if it's some sort of allergic reaction. The only difference in her diet has been pineapple. The rash looks as if someone poured acid on her, which is exactly how my friend Morgan described the rash her daughter got when they found out she was allergic to strawberries and other red foods.

My house will never be clean. Ever. Trust me, this is not hyperbole. Every time I feel like I'm catching up, something happens. I nurse Rafael and somehow Michaela manages to grab everything in her reach and throw it all around the floor. I was trying to reorganize Rafaels clothes because he is getting into a new size (0-3 month, yeah!), but of course I didn't have time to finish, so all my piles have now become strewn all around his room and I can barely even walk in there. This happens every time I try to clean something. I can't ask Philip for help because he works such long days and is also working on his PhD. By the time he gets home, he is exhausted, and usually goes straight to our room to work. I feel like a single mom.

Michaela has not had a tantrum today (yay!), but that is becoming really rare these days. The littlest thing will set her off and she will melt into a pool of screaming, kicking incoherent monster. I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells to keep her happy.

I have been spending my last few nursing sessions searching the internet for a 2 year old toddler preschool class so that I can just have a few hours a week to get things done. Guess what? They DO exist! Guess what else? They are more expensive than we would ever be able to afford on a teachers salary.

I'm starting to feel like I'm just not cut out for being a stay at home mom. I've always been good at my jobs, always been a workplace winner, but I am not doing a good job with this one. I keep wanting to break down in tears. I love my babies, and I love being able to spend time with them and watch them grow up. I just wish I could go to sleep and wake up in a few years with perfect well behaved children who can do things for themselves. That's understandable right?

Oh My God, When Will The Tantrums Stop!

We went to our good friend Amy's today to do some crafty stuff. Michaela had a super meltdown while we were there, but calmed down and we had a good morning. Until we left. As we were getting ready to leave, she started up again. I managed to get her in her carseat while she was still screaming and thrashing around, but then as we were driving away she was crying so hard that she gagged and threw up. Then she started crying again and gagged and threw up again. Then a third time, this time all of her lunch came up too.

We got home and I took Rafael inside (he was screaming too because he hates the sound of Michaela's cries), then went and got Michaela and carried her into the bathroom. I closed the door and left her in there while I went to close the garage door, because I didn't want her to get throwup everywhere.

When I came back inside, I went to open the door and I couldn't. It. Was. Locked. Oh boy. Luckily I was able to open it and get to Michaela who was thrashing around on the floor and still screaming. However, now she had a huge angry welt on her head. Oy.

I stripped us both down, got a bath ready and tried to get the vomit off her as best I could without drowning her as she continued screaming and throwing herself around. I managed to get her cleaned, dried off and dressed in new clothes and then held her for 45 minutes until she finally calmed down. I put her down for her nap and then spent the next 30 minutes calming down Rafael who had been screaming the whole time.

Now he's asleep and I have to go scrub down the carseat, wash the vomit off her clothes, the carpet, the walls, and the bathroom.

I don't even have words for what I'm feeling right now.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

I can't believe how much can change in one year. One year ago you were still our little baby. You could barely crawl, you couldn't walk, you couldn't talk, you barely had any hair and you rarely graced us with a smile! Now you're a a real kid, running around, climbing on furniture, talking up a storm, and generally charming the pants off people with your cute little pigtails and chipmunk smile. You have real opinions and you can articulate what you want (and oh boy can you articulate when you don't get what you want!). You're becoming such a good big sister too. You let me know when Rafael is crying. You remind me to change his diaper every time I change yours. And now you've started kissing him good night and good morning.

And the changes in me! Parenting a toddler is soooo different than parenting a baby. You've helped me grow from the hovering paranoid mom who wouldn't even let her daughter eat a cupcake on her first birthday (the sugar! Oh the horror!) into a relaxed laid back mommy who tries to roll with the punches. Yesterday morning I went into your room when you woke up and you gave me a huuuuge smile, saying in your sweet little voice "Hi mama!". As my heart melted, I knew then that even though we've had some bumps along the road, as long as I keep showing you how much I love you, you're gonna be ok. I'm so excited to see where the next year takes us!

Just Like Mommy

Michaela finally figured out how to work the baby doll sling that some of our friends gave her for Christmas. She hasn't used it with her dolls yet, but a puppy is just as good right? By the way, this is also the dog that she tried putting a diaper on...